My 4 year old daughter asked me this today when I packed up and put away a bunch of toys that she refused to pick up. She's a dumper and somehow delights in dumping bins of toys in piles in the toy room. I am thankful for our toyroom that nooone can see this mess unless they are IN the room. So this morning I said they had until tennis lessons to pick it up OR I was going to pack up the stuff. My daughter says, (get this!) "Well, that's okay because then it will be less toys I have to pick up!" I gave them a lot more time than I said I would (mostly because I need to remember that they are 4 and NOT 14 sometimes) but finally about 2:30 (after plenty of warnings) I said it was time. And the screaming commenced. NO MOM, NO, NOT THAT TOY. I LOVE IT! For over an hour this continued until the room was clean, and 4 gallon size ziploc bags full of toys were put onto a high shelf for either use in the distant future or a yard sale... After it was all done, she says to me "Why are you being so mean?" I think I replied, "Well you are being mean to mommy too, by not cleaning up your toys and by screaming so much." and then it got so late that I missed my Spin Class which made me sad. So no work out AGAIN. (Last night the weather was bad).
But I probably need to ask myself that question. "Why am I being so mean to myself, so often?" Why do berate myself over and over for a mistake I made that I am now trying to fix. Why do I call myself fat and ugly and stupid and worthless so much? Why do I think I am a terrible wife, friend, mother, all the time? Why am I so mean to myself when I have a slip, eat too much, not go to the gym. I'm dedicated (not nearly as much as Jack Sh*t getting fit!, but still!) to the journey so why do I beat myself up so badly for small mistakes? Are you mean to yourself? Maybe we should be nicer. Give ourselves consequences but then move on. I'm sure my children will dump their toys again another day. And they will have consequences, but I forgive and move on and don't hold it against them. I don't love them less because they scream at me that I'm mean. Maybe I need to treat myself more like that. Maybe I need to love myself more.
So as I tell my kids ALL the time! STOP being so mean!!!
2 months ago