...to make a healthy mind turn into a relapsing ball of mush. I'm back home from our vacation. (Leslie, I wondered if we passed along the freeway - we were driving Pennsylvania to Chicago today). I did not do well at all since we left Canada. It was almost as if by being back in New England I went back in time to when I ate whatever I want without even thinking about what it was doing to my body. It's no secret that I'm a stress eater. We chose to eat Thanksgiving at a friends house rather than with my brother since he and I have not spoken since July. It was a lovely dinner, but we did go to my brother's for dessert. In 4 hours we spoke 3 times. Once saying hello, once when I complemented his pumpkin pecan pie, and once when leaving to say goodbye. It is sad. I didn't cry and get all worked up (which is normal) but I ate (which is also normal in these circumstances). So maybe something has been worked out in my crazy brain. Then we visited my girls birth mother which gives its own set of stresses. We visited other friends in Pennsylvania the last few days, and again it felt like I had transported myself back to the time when I lived there and ate like there was no tomorrow. It's hard to explain it, but it was all kind of subconcious eating. I'm glad to be home. Glad to be away from all of that. I feel like a better person here. A healthier person physically and emotionally. That's why when people ask if I'd move back to New England, I always, without hesitation, say no! My body hated what I did to it there.
Anyhow. back to work tomorrow. Back to the gym, back to normal eating.
On my own
1 month ago