Hello 59 followers who still follow this blog, although I've long since posted here. Send me a message and I'll give you a link to my current blog. (which has all the content from here moved over there...)
I just noticed I had a new follower of this blog...I love new followers, but I'm actually posting on a different blog now. Leave a comment here (with a way to msg you) and I'll share with you the new address :)
I'm so excited. I figured out (thank you Google!) how to move all my posts from one blog to the new one! (It wasn't that hard) Now I can have all the last year and a half of posting all in one place! If you haven't followed me over, this is probably the last time I'll blog from this place. Message me or leave a comment if you want me to give you the new blog link!
Yesterday Suzanne Eller tweeted "What has God called you to do/be? Do that. Be that. But those things that are not in your control, place those in God's domain."
I was thinking on that idea when I thought to myself. "What's my excuse right now?" "In this moment?" And you know what? There wasn't one. I can look behind and see all the reasons I haven't been successful at weight loss...I can look ahead and see all the reasons I *might* not be successful (holidays, vacations, easter candy)..but in almost every moment there is no excuse why I can't be successful in THAT moment.
Whether you believe as God as the Creator of your body or not, we know that the body was not created to look like many of us do. What is it supposed to be like? Do that/Be That. In THIS moment. Don't worry about dinner or tomorrow or next month. In THIS moment treat your body the way it is supposed to be treated.
That is my plan, right now. And I am trying to put things (and people) that I am not in control of in God's domain. Because, in all honesty, it's those things that usually trip me up in many areas of my life!
Yesterday was one of those days. I just got depressed. And my eating reflected that. My kids got their report cards on Friday and I have one daughter who has the best teacher and another who has an average teacher. The average teacher doesn't give comments and my daughters grades (in K it is Beginning, Developing, Secure, Excels) stayed the same since last quarter. It just put me in a funk. I try very hard not to compare my kids, and the fact that one had 13 grades higher than the other made me realize that it is the teacher, not the kids, because while one excels in some things, it is not 13 other things! But when one kid is not getting the attention and love of a great kindergarten teacher and the other does, it makes me feel bad. I'm proactive, I've emailed her teacher asking more specific questions, my daughter says she treats everyone the same and that she is nice. I think that as a Mom, I want always what is best for my girls and clearly one is getting the short end of the stick and it is frustrating.
Also looking for a church is hard. (or maybe I'm just making it hard). My fear of people is not unfounded, but my friend reminds me that there are sinful people everywhere. This I know. But I have higher expectations. I believe that if you are living for Jesus than that flows out of your heart. It is evident in your life that even though you aren't perfect, you are earnestly seeking to be a better person by becoming more like Him - and you aren't mean! We are going to try another church this weekend. I'll keep you posted!
So in order to try to get out of this "mood" I stayed up til 1:30AM cleaning my desk and getting our tax stuff ready. Often if I wake up with less to do in the AM I get going more easily. And so far, not too bad. I've not eaten any crap and I'm feeling okay. I've got to anchor myself quick or I'll be going down that slippery slope of bad eating again....
So, today I went to a Body Pump Class instead of church. Here are some truths:
I felt better after my workout then I have at church in a long time People, even though they are working hard, are friendly and cheery - not always so at church Noone cares what you look like, what work out clothes you are wearing, or how your hair is. It is a welcome relief to wearing my Sunday Best.
Don't get me wrong. We love God and we believe in going to church to worship. We believe in Jesus and the Bible. I am just burned out on actual church lately. And it seems almost every person has the stories of "crazy" people at their own church. People who make you feel like a lesser version of yourself and unworthy. I don't have thick skin. I don't bounce.
We have some amazing friends we have met at our last church. AMAZING people. People who show love and grace and mercy. People who are working to be better people and to honor God. If only they could have all been like that.
So today I worked out instead. I am fearful of new churches. Fearful of the pattern. Fearful that negative people will unknowingly sabotage my weight loss efforts.
So I'm working on my temple. For today. Until I am strong enough to hold my own against the "crazies".
Okay, I am a realist and know that I can not have a weight loss that grand any other time then the first month. But hot dog!! 17!
Wouldn't it be nice though, if we could lose 17 lbs a month? Then it would only take 6 months to lose 100 lbs? Then we wouldn't feel like we are walking up hill for what seems like FOREVER!!! It is not to be...
Hope everyone is getting down this week!! :) Rock on!
I'm a little bit in a funk the last two days. I'm not sure why..it's really the first time this month that I've felt a bit down. Yesterday I had some binging behavior and ate a bunch of Hostess Powdered Little Bit Donuts and then had a big ol calzone for dinner. Is it terrible, no...since I've been down a LOT of calories this week from being sick. Did it make me feel better? Well, no.
Sometimes I think it's my lack of a "dream" that puts me here. As I spend my days relocating toys to their proper homes, making beds, doing laundry, feeding pets, etc...I think about what is it that I want to do with my life. What can I do? What am I willing to learn? But going back to work is scary after 5 years. Can I find meaning in it or will it make me feel like I'm spinning my wheels?
I have a friend who is struggling with a lot of serious issues and has been for a long time. He recently went to a therapist who told him that maybe he wasn't capable of becoming what he wanted to be. (in his present state). Well, this just made him mad and not want to see her again. I told him I thought he could achieve what he wanted but he had to make changes in his life. She was not wrong. His response was to try and find another therapist. He wants to change, but is not willing to do the hard work. I often parallel my weight loss to his issues. I can talk about it, read about it, get advice about it, but until I am the one doing the work I will not achieve any losses. I can say I want to be thin, but if I am not willing to put down the candy bar, then I am not willing to do the work.
I am willing right now. I AM doing the hard work with weight loss. But am I willing to do hard work anywhere else in life? That is the question I am trying to figure out. Do I have a dream? Am I willing to work hard for that dream?
I know the east coast is getting pounded with wet heavy white stuff, but we here in Chicagoland are also getting a few inches here, a few inches there. I think next year I am going to count the times I've shoveled our very. long. driveway. Then I could say I shoveled x miles of snow!! I was going to Sh*Bam this morning, but I hadn't shoveled, so my main workout was shoveling today! Woohoo!!
I did go to Body Pump last night, but my body has not quite recovered from my illness and I could not do as much as usual! I'm plugging away though...
Exploding Pyrex. Yes that's right...the indestructible glassy cookware exploded right in front of my self on the stove. Thankfully the only damage to my person was a shard of glass in my left foot. I think I'm okay to go to the fitness center. I'm finally feeling well enough to eat and go out and do things! YAY!
One of the bad side effects of being sick has been severely dry lips. I've been drinking water, but they are still in a constant state of dryness. The problem with this is that it makes me not want to eat anything salty or crunchy or makes me open my mouth wide...so...I'm eating fruit and eggs and soup. I'm ready for this to be done...
I'm still down with a sickness. Might be strep, might be just a virus. I'm on amoxicillin just in case...
The upside of sickness is that I'm really not wanting to eat a lot. I'm actually pretty hungry, but the idea of putting certain things in my mouth and down my burning throat stops me quick. So for the last few days I've eaten basically fruit and chicken noodle soup. I like food though, so here's hoping I feel better soon....
Today I wonder whether I care more about pounds or more about inches. This week I had a pretty good eating week(although I confess I did not drink nearly as much water as I should have)but I am only down 1 lb. Basically I'm converting fat to muscle which slows down weight loss, but in inches for the month I'm down ALOT! 3 inches in some areas!! Which is huge! But it's hard to not see that scale move. I've been entirely motivated to exercise this week! I'm still motivated, but just a tad frustrated. I want both pounds AND inches. But I guess in the end I care more about the inches...what makes me "Look" smaller.
And apparently I do, since my daughter told me again she "misses my chin"
Although I've already had to shut the door in my screaming child's tantrum of a face this morning as she cried and cried that she did not, in fact, know how to match colors and she just didn't want to wear jeans to school today...I still have the best kids in the entire universe.
Sometimes I have gotten sad about being overweight and my daughter will say "But we love you no matter what, Mom!"
Last night at the dinner table I was looking at one of my daughters and she said, "Mom, turn to the side." I had no idea what she was doing, but assuming I probably had a piece of corn stuck to my cheek or something. "Your chin," she said. I wiped at it but there was nothing there. "No, mom, it's shrinking." I was happy at this news, then she said "Aww." I asked her why she said Aww. She said "Because mom, I liked your chin." It is clear that our children do not see us the way we see ourselves. If we could bottle up just an ounce of the pure love they have for us, we'd all be able to feel better about ourselves and just maybe be a little bit more successful!
Bet I caught your attention with that title... but what I'm talking about is Volumetrics. The basic idea of Volumetrics is that we feel full when we eat more food (not more calories) so we need to eat more of better foods. Simple really. Who can argue that? But I'd like to also add that presentation/perception plays a role in our "fullness". Part of the strategy of using a smaller plate is so we eat less but I think also because the food fills the plate it makes us think we are eating MORE! I was thinking about this today as I ate lunch. I had turkey breast on a pita. Now usually I just rip the top of the pita off and stuff everything down deep. But today I decided to rip the pita in half and make 2 pockets. Same amount of food presented in a different way, but it made me feel like I was eating 2 sandwiches. You can do this a lot of different ways. slice and chunk apples, cut a banana in 2...it just always seems like more, when it is not.
Yesterday I found 3 VHS tapes of Leslie Sansone "Walk Away the Pound Videos". I'm still faithful to the fitness center, but it's nice on those snowy days to have something I can do indoors. Since I invested in some free weights last year, I'm also to get some weights in while I do it. Best part all 3 together only cost $1.00. I love VHS these days. Thrift stores have them super cheap and we have 2 working VCR's in our house. I actually prefer them to DVD's which scratch so easily.
And the last thought of the day: I'm an international sensation!! Actually you probably are too if you have a blog. If you click on the Stats page (thanks Chris for pointing this out) it will tell you where people are clicking from. My stats:
United States - 1,362 United Kingdom - 106 South Korea -94 Canada - 89 Netherlands - 37 Japan - 28 Germany - 27 Brazil - 24 Russia - 22 Belgium - 15
This just fascinates me (I love statistics!) Well welcome all you international readers! Have an awesome day!!
It has snowed quite a bit here lately. I don't hate snow as much as I used to, probably because here in Illinois the snow is generally a light fluffy snow that does not require body building to lift it! Also, now that I have kids, I love to see them enjoy sledding and throwing snowballs at each other. Friday I'm going to exercise by Snow Shoeing! Anyone ever done it? A friend of mine suggested going and my husband has snow shoes so I said sure! I might enjoy this more than my spin class! :)
I love snow peas. I just ate many of them.... This from wisegeek.com "The origin of the term “snow pea” is uncertain. It may refer to the fact that they can grow in late winter or possibly to the frost-like tint of the pods. In French, snow peas are called “mange tout,” which means “eat all,” since both the peas and the pods are edible."
See..this is why I love the French...they name a vegetable "EAT ALL!" Well, I ate them all!
I've been fairly okay on the eating the last couple of days. We celebrated my dear dear friends birthday on Sunday. I made a chicken stirfry (Healthy) and a frosted cake (not so healthy). This is kind of gross, but fatty foods get the bowels moving. I often time have difficulties remember to keep enough fat in my diet when I'm eating healthy. I eat alot of great things and a sufficient amount, but it's lots of fruits and vegetables. I think my body was happy to have a little more fat!
As expected the second week weigh in results were a downer compared to last weeks 9.5 lbs lost...However I still recorded a loss of of 3 lbs and a two week total of 12.5 lbs. I also do have that pesky little friend wrecking a little havoc on me this week. I have learned the following things this week:
Sledding is exercise. Seriously walking up a big hill a whole bunch of times is a good cardio workout. (add it with the thrill of going down and its a whole lot of fun!)
Tiredness effects my munchies. The days where I was well rested I did not feel like munching, those where I went to bed late I felt like eating all day long.
Working out at home is okay. I probably work out longer in a class, but I was so tired on Friday I popped in a video. I still sweated and had a good work out!
Planning a monthly meal plan has great benefits. No more thinking about what to eat and then ordering out. We have agreed to have 2 nights of order in/eat out as a family per month. This really helps.
Not stressing about food at a party makes it much easier to stay on plan the next day. I went to a party - had a couple glasses of wine, a brownie, a cookie, some bread...not too much, but I didn't feel like I had "blown it". Because really all of those things in a little bit are not terrible.
Can it already be January 12th? I have successfully eaten well and exercised for a whole 12 days! I know, there's a small part that says "Big Whoop!" in me because it is ONLY 12 days but the part of me that is used to messing up so often in weight loss efforts is doing a happy dance because I have NOT messed up for 12 days. I have not binged (I do not call eating a lot of snow peas binging per se). I have not eaten more than I needed to. I have rewarded myself with treats every now and I again. I have exercised 9/12 days (including 3 rounds of shoveling my very long driveway yesterday). I have drank water. And I have felt GREAT these last two weeks. :) Happy Me!
I really hate inflation. The monetary kind of course, as well as inflated data, inflated grades. It is never a really good indicator of how things are really going. I feel that way about the first week scale results. I have happily lost 9.5 lbs. Yes that is right. 9.5! Well, I'm not crazy excited about it for the reason that I know the 2nd week won't even be half that. It's an inflated number based on how much water I was retaining.
Now, I'm not completely without hope in my efforts this week. I've been doing very well. I've exercised 7/10 days of the New Year. I've been eating well. I feel great. But I won't expect another 9lb drop this week. I had my husband put away my scale after I weighed myself Saturday morning. I didn't want to have to fight the urge to weigh myself 3 times a day. As much as I know my weight fluctuates based on how much liquid I am drinking, I still get crazy obsessed.
I've been alternating my classes so I don't get too bored. Here's what I'm doing Aqua Pump Body Pump Sh'Bam Spinning Aqua Fitness
I want to get back into Body Flow Yoga, but I wanted to get my body a little more loosened up before I start doing that again.
I've been thinking about motivation lately. What motivates me to work on my health and body. I think for some it is one thing...wearing a sleeveless at a wedding, getting into a bathing suit, looking good for a reunion with family or classmates. All of these are great but for me, I have found that having lots of little motivators works much better than having one big one to think about all the time. For me it is way to easy to lose focus depending how I feel when I have just one motivator. If it is just to lose weight by summer...well summer is a long ways away, this one little treat won't hurt...and so on...until I've basically given up. So depending on the day I have different motivators...some are serious, some are silly, but it helps
Here are some of mine:
To have my daughters be able to wrap their arms mostly around me.
To shop at regular boutique shops
To use only one towel at the fitness center when I take a shower
To do a push up easily
To wear jewelry (fat wrists and ankles do not make jewelry becoming..)
Etc...each day it changes and that helps me stay on track
I am body tired. Not sore, but tired. I went to bed at 10:00 last night and could barely wake up at 7:00. I'm still yawning even though I showered to try to get myself going. This is VERY unusual for me as I am generally the most chipper, raring to go morning person you will meet. (well that is if I don't have to keep saying, Get Dressed, Go Potty, Eat your Breakfast or you'll miss the bus - then NOT so chipper)
Last night I did Body Pump and then tried a little of a new class called Sh'Bam! It is from the Les Mills Brand of classes. It is a cardio dance class and it was a lot of fun! I only lasted 15 minutes because I had just squatted my butt off in the previous class and my legs would not have been able to dance 45 minutes. I'm a bit excited about this class actually because it is dance I can do! The other class they have had was called Body Jam and it was more of a hip hop class. But, I don't pimp my ride, yo! This class feels more like what I imagine to be a Broadway dance class, complete with Jazz Hands!! Yes, please! It's always been my secret desire to be a Broadway store! My only dilemma - it follows Body Pump with Kiersten who, if you have followed my blog from the beginning, is my ultimate favorite instructor. But Sh'Bam is taught by Therese, who is my second favorite instructor, and the first instructor I ever took in the beginning who made me feel completely comfortable being in a Yoga class with a bunch of skinny people. DILEMMA! I suppose I could alternate, or just do what I did last night and take as much of the class my legs will let me. We will see...
*UPDATED* Here's a youtube video of a class of ShBam in Kuala Lumpar Malaysia. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlnn8VEl2AM&feature=related
*BAM!* I created an Emeril recipe for Simply Salsa, which was Simply Delicious!! I have resolved to make a recipe using each spice in my spice rack this year. I have already completed Cilantro (with the salsa) and Coriander (I made a delicious Turkey Sausage!) It's kind of fun!
Today is a day of body rest. But so far I have worked out 4/6 days this New Year. Go ME!
There were 40+ people in my Body Pump class this morning! I have NEVER had so many people in one class. New Years Resolutions in Action- All right!! I'm still working through the pain, but it isn't too bad. Body Pump is a weight lifting class set to music. I really love it. (except squats and lunges). I've been going light with the barbell because I'm still sore from the first class, but I'm hoping next week to increase a little.
I had been trying not to step on the scale, but I can't help myself. I should probably just throw the thing out, but it's a good scale. And it has told me some good things this week.
I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. Hmm...eating well, exercising, feeling better....I'm sensing a connection....
I started attending a book club a few months ago, and it has been a VERY successful endeavor. Outside of church I haven't really met anyone since I've moved to Illinois. I tell you, I haven't laughed so much in years. We loved meeting that we added a 2nd social meeting per month and will randomly text/email to get together for drinks/movies at other times. Having a social life in addition to my family and separate from church has really helped me feel like a better person. It's a place where there are no expectations, no requirements, no judgments. Where people are really interested in your ideas and what you think. It is a beautiful thing. And on top of that, I am reading at least 1 book per month, which just helps to better my mind!
Two stresses today almost led me down the binging path of bad food. First, my husbands company is having layoffs at the end of the month, and while we are fairly confident that he will keep his job, it still adds some stress. We've just gone through 2 years of financial stress not being able to sell our second house. We really hope that we will not have to go through any time of unemployment! Secondly a friends husband is looking out of state for a new job. I cannot even express how devastating it would be for me to not have my friend here. She has been my greatest cheerleader in my weight loss efforts, she's the one I call crying when I get pulled over for speeding and don't want to tell my husband. She's the type that starts belting out Bon Jovi and Bette Midler tunes just because they fit the conversation we are having!
But, she will be glad to know that instead of grabbing the bag of chips, I grabbed the bag of snow peas. (They aren't nearly as satisfying though!) It would be silly to sabotage my efforts due to the "what ifs" of life. Today I made it through...
There's an episode of the Gilmore Girls when Rory goes golfing with her grandfather at an upscale country club, and when telling the tale to her mother she says "I took a steam" as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I think taking a steam should be a natural part of everyone's life!
Here's a link to Livestrong's website that describes the benefits of a steam room
Our steam room pumps in a minty smell, which helps in the relaxation. I'm wondering why, with this luxury (that I've been continuously paying for, mind you) I have not actually gone more often these past 6 months.
I took an Aqua Pump Class today. It was a pretty good workout, and I didn't have to fight for a spot in the class. Thankfully our fitness center didn't run a $0 enrollment fee for the new year like last year, which made it CRAZY! I'm still sore from the other day, but I don't want to start skipping workouts already!
Ah yes, I remember this now...it's been so long. The day after the first workout in a while...ouch! I went easy at the gym yesterday, too, but I guess coupled with preparing our house and food for our game night it added the the stress on my body! Not that I mind. Game nights are one of my favorite nights of the month. I love laughing and there's always a lot of that going on! I'm not sure my body could handle all of that laughing today, though!
I had some great successes in the kitchen though. I made a guacamole for the first time and it came out pretty well. It would have been better if the avocados were riper, but most of it was eaten so it wasn't that bad! Ingredients: Roma Tomatoes, Garlic, Avocado, Red Onion, Lime Juice, Olive Oil, Salt & Pepper. I made delicious fudge earlier this week, and the girls and I made Cereal Cookies that were quite tasty as well!
However, my kitchen work was not without a failure with my deviled eggs. I think the recipe (in one of those homemade recipe books)had a typo and called for a Tbsp of Mustard. I think it should have been a Tsp. Thankfully I tasted it before I put it in the eggs-It was HORRIBLE. I will probably make an egg salad sandwich with Miracle Whip for lunch with the hard egg whites. Egg salad seems like a very unhealthy thing, but with Miracle Whip its not that unhealthy at all.
Laying low today...might walk if its not too unbearably cold!
I am a stay at home wife and mother to three beautiful girls. I was overweight all my life and lost over 100lbs in 2011. After I gave birth to my youngest daughter, I lost my father to cancer and managed to gain back all of that weight. I'm on a mission to lose it again. I have a degree in History with a focus on Early Modern Europe. In my spare time I like to watch movies, visit museums, and travel