I have never realized the major impact that food (and caffeine) have on my emotional stability. I have long suffered from depression and some anxiety. Now a lot of the depression has been brought on by life circumstances, but sometimes it has been a little crazy. I would cry for an hour because I lost something. I would flip out if my husband laid something down on a space I had just cleaned or organized. I think these irrational things came from a food mood.
Yesterday I did not eat horribly, but certainly a more free day than I usually do. I had cinnamon swirl bread for breakfast, Diet Coke - for lunch a Salmon Burger on Ciabatta with mashed potatoes at Lonestar, more cinnamon bread for a snack and a Hershey Almond King Size Bar for dinner with another Diet Coke. This is not a terrible calorie day, but also not a terribly nutritious day. I did not drink as much water as usual either.
I had trouble falling asleep last night and then slept terribly. I woke up and couldn't bear to get out of bed. It took me over 30 minutes to really rouse myself. I sent my girls to go play for a whle whilst I tried to get up. Then after breakfast I was writing a big stack of thank you cards that I kept putting off while the girls played. When we were finish I went up to get them to go to the Parent/Tot Play Center in town and they had destroyed their bedroom that I had spent time yesterday cleaning. (They are generally not allowed too many toys in their room because we have a HUGE toyroom right next to their bedroom). I flipped. I mean I yelled, then had to go lay down and started crying my eyes out. For 15 minutes. All because my children did something that all children do - make a mess. Something that didn't take that long to clean up.
It hit me after I calmed down that I have not had an episode like this in a few months. Since I've started eating healthy and exercising and limiting diet coke. An "Aha" moment went on in my head. My depression in part (or at least the outward actions of it) may have been linked to my food and caffeine consumption. Food does affect the chemicals in your brain. I'll keep track of these emotional outbursts in the future to see if they are corresponding to food intake. But it seems that I might have figured out a fundamental problem in my response system. I must keep the Food Mood in check by continuing to eat healthy.
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