The Overweight Life

Hopefully someone is still reading after my break.

I started this blog to help me be motivated, a way to verbally spew all that was going on in my head about weight loss and diet and exercise. I am not without thoughts this month of course, but I haven't had my blog therapy very much at all. Maybe sometimes I get too comfortable in my routine or bored with it. Maybe I question the purpose of throwing all this stuff "out there". I've had a bad month. You know it's bad when your 4 year old has asked two days in a row to go to the fitness center!

I'm not sure what triggered this current bad eating cycle or indifference to exercising. It might be the weather. Lots of snow, lots of clouds. Yesterday was the first day I felt kind of 'happy' as the sun shined throughout the house. I looked at a weather map and saw that there might have been 5 almost sunny days this month Last month wasn't much better. I tend to get blahs in the winter, and up until now have managed to keep that at bay.

There's been some good things going on. Last Friday I went to the Oprah show! It was very exciting. Shaun White was there with his gold medal, a bunch of people via satellite (Matt Lauer, Evan Lysacek, Lindsey Vann, one of the Haitian missionaries that got arrested) and Lee Daniels, the director of the movie Precious AND Lady Antebellum, the country music group. We took home a pair of the official Vancouver Olympics mittens and a Lady Antebellum CD.



Also, I've applied for a part time position at our local library. The 1st interview went well and I know all the children's librarians since we are there so much. The 2nd interview is on Tuesday and I have to create (at least in theory) a children's program for 4th and 5th graders. I'm kind of an overachiever when it comes to stuff like this, so I'm basically driving myself crazy. This is the first time in forever that I've had to go up against other people for a job. Seriously almost 90% of my jobs were gotten through temp agencies or because I showed up. It's hard to think that I might not be "chosen". Then I have been checking out child care options in case I get the job. I've been home for 3 years now full time with my girls and before that I was finishing up my degree, so the girls were part time in care. So there's a little anxiety with that. We are taking this opportunity because our other house hasn't yet sold and we've held 2 mortgages for a year, and while we are doing it, it's a little bit stressful to watch our finances deplete. Also, I need something for when the kids start kindergarten in the fall. This is showing up a little early but thought I should at least try for the opportunity.

Then for Valentine's Day I died my hair blond for my hubby (as you might be able to tell from the Oprah picture. It's not exactly what I want it to look like, but the hair stylist said I had to do this first in order to even it out before I tried to go any more blond. Here's a honeymoon picture when I was REALLY blond.



So that's the two weeks in a nut shell.

Stay tuned....

Bowls, Earthquakes and Valentines Season

At the beginning of the year I put in my goals that I would take 2 weeks of vacation from the gym. This week was one of those week. I kind of took a break from reading and posting on my blog too, but I'm getting back into the groove. I will probably save my next vacation towards the holidays at the END of the year.

So first we had our Chili Bowl our church with lots of chili and cornbread and hotdogs. Then we had the Super Bowl...had a fabulous time at a friends house, except I just kept nibbling and nibbling wings and spinach dip and peanut m&m's.

Then it is Valentines Season, (at our house this means every day my husband gives me a small gift leading up to valentines day) and while my husband has been very good not to give me candy every day, there''s been a few days where I've gotten candy treats for part of Valentine's Season. Then there was our Valentine's Dinner Date, where I ate Veal in some super rich sauce that I seriously would have slurped the sauce up if I was alone but it would have been uncouth to do so at a fine dining establishment.

Oh, have I mentioned the earthquake? Yep, we felt it.. Wednesday, 3:59 AM. I woke up and asked my husband why our bed was shaking. It was a minor earthquake with an epicenter about 6 miles from our house, but seriously we didn't expect an earthquake in Illinois!!

So that's what has been going on. My vacation ends tomorrow, so I should be back to daily posting on Monday (with something different to tell you!)

I Was That Woman

Earlier today in Walmart the woman behind me had the following things:
1 package sugar coated donuts
1 package iced cinnabons
1 large baguette bread
2 boxes Philly steak meat

I will confess I've always been a "cart snoop". I always wondered what "normal" people ate, how and what they cooked.

When I saw what this woman had and then looked at her I was sad for her. Because she was overweight. I was sad because *I* used to be that woman. The one who checked out with more processed food than real food. Sugar laden treats were plentiful, fruits and veggies not so. I sometimes would make up some story at the register to make it look like I wasn't buying all that sugary stuff for myself. I would shop a little bit at a time so people wouldn't figure I was binging on the stuff. I always thought people would have disdain and embarrassment for me if they knew I was the one stuffing my face. Maybe they did, but maybe they weren't embarrassed by me, or making fun of me...maybe they were sad for me, too.

I know I may have misjudged the situation. Maybe she was bringing these treats to a church potluck or a Super Bowl Party tomorrow. If she had been even slightly overweight I might not have given it a second thought. But she was very overweight. Like I was and still am. And then I was so glad that I have started to make the right choices for my life and I hoped that she would soon figure out that there is more happiness in NOT eating crappy food than there is in actually eating it. I was that woman. And now I'm not. and I'm grateful.

Valentine's Season and What I'm Doing.

First Valentine's Season. Last year my husband instituted Valentine's Season. Basically, every day the week before Valentine's Day he gave me a card and a little small gift. A Box of Candy Hearts, Valentines Day pencils, Hersheys Kisses...etc. Nothing very grand, but it was the sweetest thing. Well, Valentine's Season is back and my husband is again putting all men to shame. It began yesterday with a package in the mail. It is an apricot colored Chef N Switchet Speader silicone Spatula. You are all probably scratching your heads thinking....THIS is a romantic cute gift? Well yes. I had asked for a sandwich spreader a while back for Christmas, but hubby hadn't found one by then. But he remembered and found one online! It's different than one I had been thinking of, but it's a cool orangey color and serves 2 purposes! I'm all for multipurpose stuff! Today's Valentine Season - valentine's themed pencils and a heart tissue banner for the house. It was so cute because K is incorporating the kids into it too! He is such a sweetie!

Ok, now for what I'm doing. I'm up to 46 *gasp* readers and I was thinking that I should review what I'm particularly doing to help me lose weight. This works for me but I make no guarantees it would work for anyone else.

First - I eat less and exercise more. I don't count calories, but I have a basic idea. I eat less fruit (no more than 2 a day) more veggies and proteins and less carbs. Again, I don't count how many. I just know vague amounts. I eat what my family eats for dinner. I just adjust the portions accordingly. Friday nights are pizza nights and I always eat 2 pieces of greasy, sausagy, pepperoni pizza. (and the leftover crusts of my kids) But I stop at 2. I generally eat a few scrambled eggs for breakfast and a piece of fruit. For lunch I have a turkey or ham wrap with lettuce and tomatoes, either with Miracle Whip or Avocado. I use Joseph's LAVASH flax flat breads which are only 100 calories for the whole huge wrap. I don't get sick of them. I've been eating them most every day for 6 months. For supper it's a variety, but it's what my family eats...usually sausage and spaghetti one night, chicken and corn another night, pork chops, hamburger. Nothing terrible restrictive. And I DON'T eat tofu.

I move more. I work out usually 5 times a week. I do spin a couple times of weeks, a weight class a couple times of week and a yoga/taichi class once a week. Sometimes I work out less, sometimes more. I always take classes because on my own, I know I won't push myself. Sometimes I take aqua aerobics.

I don't keep a running record of weekly pounds lost. I decided a while back that I will have weekly 2 lb goals which I can meet or not meet and I can always tell how far behind I am by whether I have met them or not. I only adjusted them once between Thanksgiving and Christmas because I had fallen so far behind it would not have been healthy for me to try to catch up. Either once or twice a month I update my actual weight but I don't keep track of lbs lost week to week. I don't do this because some weeks I might lose 4 lbs and another week I might lose 1 lb and it's possible that I might even gain. I didn't want to get caught in the trap of being disappointed with myself if I had a big loss one week and a small loss the next. And as a woman there is always that one week a month we hold more water. That's part of the reason I think I've failed so many times before. So this is a very solid stable way for me to gauge my loss without getting too caught up in numbers. Sometimes I'm ahead of my weekly goals, and sometimes behind but I always know where I am and where I'm supposed to be. I'm not saying keeping a weekly tally is bad, just that it doesn't work for me and plays too many tricks with my mind.

Have a Happy Day!

Nudies and Undies

First off - 253.5 - WOOHOO!! 36.5 lbs gone. Go me! (EDIT: I'm adding that overall, from my highest weight ever in 2006 I have lost 55 lbs but since August of 2009 when I started this blog and starting this particular journey I've lost 36.5)

So I took a new round of nudies the other day. I compared them with the October ones and they confirm that my weight is lost mostly in my face, my shoulders, my back and my boobs, maybe a little bit in my thighs. I will probably continue to do this every three or four months so I can really see where the differences are happening. I really recommend it for people to do. And it really isn't that depressing to look at them. I think it's help me become more accepting of my body and less ashamed of it.

As far as undies - I have had to throw away a whole bunch of too big undies. They just weren't working for me anymore. I probably should have thrown them away a while ago because they've been big for a while, but for whatever reason I did not do it. I'm nearly ready to throw away the next size too because they are kind of big. I have a whole box of size 9 cute undies (which are still a little bit too small) just waiting for me. I believe they stop making cute/sexy underwear that is reasonably priced at size 9. I think Kohl's had a sale a few years ago and I stocked up. I did wear a pair that was a little stretchier than the others the other day. It really made me happy. They are these funky red ones with bright swirls and flowers. Just wearing them made me feel more confident. Partly because of the size, but more so because I had girly pretty NORMAL undies on like other women wear.

Exercise is good...I pumped yesterday and did Body Flow today. Tomorrow is pump again.


Happy Day all around!!

I'm not Mad at You, Michelle Obama

I read an article this morning about how Michelle Obama has used the example of her own children to talk about childhood obesity in America. There has been a bit of outrage that she would speak about her children's weight to the American public and many have written that she has set her children up with an increased chance for eating disorders.

I, for one, think it is good to acknowledge it publicly and educate grownups on how they can effect their children. Really, what is better for her kids, that she acknowledge it, help them make better choices so they can live with less ridicule, or not talk about it and instead let the American public loudly gossip about how the Obama girls are getting chubby? (I for one do not think they are) One of my biggest gripes about my weight is why on earth did the adults in my life let it get so bad? Seriously, I was fat by the time I was 5. I weighed 200 lbs by high school. I wore polyester grandma pants because in the 70's and early 80's there were no cute, trendy plus sized junior clothes. Perhaps, somewhere if one of the adults in my life had spoken up, took the extra time to help me, then I wouldn't be battling the bulge today.

And really - these girls, for the next 20 years of their lives will be criticized by the media and the public, because of their hair, their makeup, the weight. I don't think their mother's comment that the doctor told her she needed to watch their BMI and make adjustments to their diet are going to cause an eating disorder. The ever watchful, ever criticizing American press might. With 1/3 of America's children overweight, it's time for parents to be honest about and with their kids. My self esteem is a lot worse now than it would have been if an adult had intervened on my behalf 30 years ago. There is far too much emphasis these days on self esteem over health, over education. Yes, I believe we need to love ourselves, but not at the expense of our mind and our bodies because I believe if those two things are nurtured, we would have no choice but to love ourselves.

Have a nice day!

The Body is an Amazing Thing

I picked up an anatomy book at the library today to try to familiarize myself a little bit more with all the parts and how they go together. The body is one crazy amazing thing, I tell you!! As I was looking at the pages about the abdomen with all it's muscles and nerves and all I said to my husband "How the heck do doctors know and remember all these things?" He says its from the years of training, however, I have my own theory. 9 out of 10 times when I go to the doctor with some type of pain in my stomach/chest/arm etc. They tell me it is stress related. Hmm..perhaps they don't know all these different parts of the body to correctly diagnose it. Perhaps I had pulled the Serratus anterior muscle or the Latissimus dorsi muscle. HA! Next time I'm going to ask! LOL.

It is mind boggling to look at an anatomy book and how our bodies are made up of so many intricate and complex things. This is why I believe in God the Creator. I cannot be convinced that such a perfect system with so many different parts was just pure happenstance. I only wish he had made it so it couldn't expand so much. :)

Tomorrow I should be going to Body Pump. I've slacked off in the weights department, so I'm making an effort to pump 2x a week at least. Hopefully 3.

Spun Dry

510 calories burnt - 21.0 miles in 55 minutes. I love spin.

My skin is dry. Too many showers - need to moisturize.

Resisted chocolate treats today at Bible Study. Yay me.

Eating well.

Up Hills Both Ways in 2 Feet of Snow!

Ok, so the snow wasn't that bad today, but I had to shovel in order to go to the fitness center today. There's something just wrong with that. I have to exercise in order to go exercise more? But I did it. I took Body Pump this morning before the kids tennis lessons. I've made it a point to put more weight on the barbell lately and today I even put my the barbell on my shoulders for squats and lunges because I kept telling myself "I have to protect my pre-arthritic knees". There's truth to that, but I think I tend to wimp out a bit in workouts because of worry. I did it and my knees don't even hurt. I can do more than that I think.

And here's the biggest fitness news of the week. I did a plank push up. That's right. On my toes. So maybe it's not that huge of an accomplishment, but to me it is. I nearly cried. I always tear up a bit when I exceed my expectations. It's a beautiful thing.

Hunger

Yesterday I was hungry. I hadn't felt that feeling in a LONG time. I did have breakfast - (a bowl of raisin bran) but not my usual protein laden eggs. By 10:30 my stomach was growling. Really growling - in the middle of church no less! So I didn't have that great of an afternoon. I ate a sandwich, then I ate cookies...and then some chips. Then we were running late for evening church and I had to be there to work in the nursery so as a way to get my kids moving we offered McDonald's - where I got an Angus Burger. Let me just say that Angus Burgers are way tastier than the other burgers. I only at a few fries and gave the rest to hubby. So, I did not have a very "clean" food day. I thought about only eating half the Angus Burger, but I have a problem "wasting money" more than wasting food. I had just paid $5.00 for that burger - I couldn't just eat half. (Well I could have, but then I would have felt bad for wasting the $5)

Lesson learned -Make sure to eat enough at breakfast (and protein) so I am NOT hungry by mid morning. It sets off bad habits.