I am challenging myself NOT to step on the scale until January 1st. I figure that is just going to do more damage then good to my psyche during the holidays. Anyone want to join me?
I went to Body Pump yesterday morning and I am SORE in my chest and arms. SORE!
My psychological thoughts these days..."when did I become so ungenerous?". Ok...truth be told, I am still very generous with my time and always help a friend out when they need it..but I used to LOVE getting gifts for people. If I knew you, you probably got a little trinket of something for Christmas because I like to think about people and what would make them happy. Somewhere along the line I became cynical about it though figuring noone cared one way or the other about getting a gift. Now I abhor buying for people that are not closely connected to our family, including nieces and nephews. That must sound heartless, but really it's not. Here are the annual conversations that happen in our family:
Me to sis-in-law: What could the kids use/like for Christmas?
Sis-in-law: Oh, just get them gift cards from Walmart.
I wouldn't mind gift cards so much if we saw our nieces and nephews more than once a year. And I don't want to be known as that aunt that send $20 every birthday and christmas.
and then there is this:
Me to brother: What should I get the kids for Christmas?
Brother: Whatever, just don't spend a lot because it's going to be light Christmas this year.
Again, not a bad thing, except I've heard this every year from my brother since I was about 15 years old, and there hasn't been a "light" Christmas for people he WANTED to buy for. It's kind of a "don't spend a lot on us, so we don't have to spend a lot on you" attitude.
So Christmas really has become in a lot of ways the season of meaningless gifts. That's why we have instituted a tradition between hubby and I for gift giving. We can tell each other what we would like, but one gift under the tree has to be something we haven't asked for. Something that requires a bit of thought.
Yesterday, the other mom in my girl's swim class brought the swim instructor a gift. AND she brought S & C some candy treats. I never even thought of bringing a gift to the teacher or to the little friend. So it got me thinking. I can't pinpoint the exact point when I stopped caring about getting gifts for so many people. I even attack Christmas cards this way. Do we *have* to send that person a card. Maybe relationships just became so superficial and meaningless that I became indifferent to it. Who knows? It takes some joy out of Christmas for sure.
I'm rambling...it's just what's going through my head....
July 3, 301.4
1 year ago
I know what you mean Jodie. I have the same feelings about gift-giving and such. It's just become an obligation for me with some people. I don't think it's that you are ungenerous, just that you've probably been burnt a few times...Try to focus on the important people and their gifts and maybe the rest will fade into insignificance? I need to do this as well...
ReplyDeleteBethany
WE have done the same. I too used to get or make a little something for everyone. But when money became so tight we had to stop buying gifts for everyone and their brother. So we started making gifts, ornaments, cookies and other little things. But when you give gifts with your heart and you don't feel they are appreciated, you stop wanting to give gifts. I have never really liked the idea of gift cards. It seams so impersonal.
ReplyDeleteWe have narrowed our gift giving down to our household and a few of the kids close friends, even then it's usually an ornament or something made by the kids.
Gift giving should be fun so focus on the ones who will appreciate it.
amber
I have always felt, and continue to feel that Christmas is a religious holiday. Gifts are fine. You should give gifts to people who mean something to you. I have never ever bought a gift for a cousin's uncle or something. Why?
ReplyDeleteWhy would I? A gift is something given from the heart and it usually expresses something.
The nicest thing I got this year was a rose pin from one of my girl scouts. It was just little, but that girl doesn't have much money...she went to the santa shop and bought it for me with what money she did have. That means it is special, and i felt honored she did that.
People take each other for granted, period.
Love on the ones who love you. Send cards to the acquantences and say a howdy to the rest.
oh, and I would send your brother some socks...lmao.
ReplyDeleteWhen our kids and their cousins were younger (and they live in Georgia), there was finally a year when someone suggested not exchanging gifts among the kids because no one knew what the far away kids would want. I was a little sorry about it, until the first year I didn't have to mail big packages at the post office!
ReplyDeleteThis year I haven't felt inclined to even think much about what to get friends and casual folks - even little stuff seems like too much.
Well for me I just blogged about Christmas traditions. I found out this week that it's more about tradition and how people react if that tradition is changed. Earlier this month I talked about not baking cookies this year for the first time in many years and I thought i could get away with it but I can not. I never realized how much people love my tradition of baking cookies until I got a few calls asking me why they had not received their cookies. It made me think that I started something that people looked forward to every year and they did not want me to stop it. So my gift to me is the fact that I have given a tradition to many and that is what Christmas means to me. Enjoy your tradition because that is Christmas!
ReplyDeleteI can't join you in the avoid the scale challenge. I need that jolt of reality (good or bad) everyday to remind me that my choices have consequences or rewards.
ReplyDeleteI was buying tons of gifts for everybody (family) until last year when I sent out a suggestion to my brothers and their wives and we developed a Polly Anna. The wives (who always got stuck with all the shopping) were thrilled with my idea. We each buy ONE gift for one person. Now it's fun to select something for one person instead of more handcreams, candles and crap that no body needs.
I tried to join and it wouldn't let me! I will try again later :) I agree with you 100%. I felt that way especially this year since I am unemployed and yet still expected to get gifts for everyone (I am posting a pic of my tree, took hours to wrap some of those gifts!) See this is my philosophy if you make each and every gift you give look absolutely gorgeous with bows and ribbons than it ups the value by about $50! Trust me it works :) So needless to say I did all my shopping at TJ MAXX and actually found some cute things that were good quality! Yep I am a fashionista! Anyway sorry for my RANT I liked your post and would love for you to check me out. I am putting up some low cal chocolate drinks today!!! Yummmmmmm!
ReplyDelete