Sunday, December 6, 2009

Back to my Pithy Posting,,,

Thank you Leslie for a new vocabulary word! I really had to look it up because when I read about you wanting more of my "pithy" posts, I was insulted thinking it meant meaningless when in fact in means the opposite! It's a word like precocious. It sounds terrible, but really means a good thing!

I have nothing positive to report. I will not go into the gluttony that the last few weeks have been. A while back I talked about there being an on/off switch in my brain regarding healthy eating. And it's definitely been in the OFF position now. I've been processing a lot in my head about this problem and I think I might have an idea of one thing that might be causing it. Bear with me:

When you grow up without a mother and a father who doesn't really spend that much time or attention on you, not giving praise OR condemnation you seek out affirmation. I do. I want people to approve of me, like me, and god forbid, LOVE me. I just want to feel like I matter on this earth, that I've contributed something that people will always hold fond memories of me. So when I went back to New England for Thanksgiving and only one person (and a person I generally can NOT stand ) noticed my weight loss efforts it really depressed me. A "What's the point" type of depression. (and adding this on to the other depression I was experiencing from family stuff just made it bad). I guess what it comes down to is I have a lot of reasons to lose weight but most of them are about other people - for my husband, for my kids, so people will give me more respect, think I'm attractive, etc. and when those other people don't notice, it is hard on my psyche. Again today my husband reminded me that I have him and our girls and that should be enough for me. He's very right, but I don't know how to change my mindset.

So that's where I am. There's always hope...I always have it, sometimes it just takes a lot to get through to it!


  1. And the most important reason of're doing this for YOU.


  2. "I have a lot of reasons to lose weight but most of them are about other people" that's honesty and that's truth. That's how it started (again) for me 4 months ago. But this time around, it has become about me, Lucy & no one else. Does that sound a bit selfish? Maybe so, but it's the only way if it's going to work. Thanks for your "pithy" post (short, meaningful, expressive):)

  3. Jodie, it's okay for you to love yourself and it sounds like you have a loving and supporting husband. I understand that you want approval and love from the others but you might live the rest of your life without it happening. It sounds like they have issues themselves.

    Jodie, don't be sad because you have a lot to give to your self and family. I have learned that there are so many things in my life that I can not fix so I acknowledge them and move on to the ones that I can fix.

    It's important to make yourself a full time job because in the end it's about you.

    I wish you luck and hope you can get back on track real soon. Thanks for your honesty!

  4. People may have noticed but don't comment on it. I mean, you've lost 40 pounds! It's bound to be at least noticeable! They may just not know if you want them to mention it. Maybe, if you really want their attention, encouragement, or support, you can invite them to comment on it, like invite them to your blog, or send out monthly emails with your ticker on them so they can see your progress and give you support.

  5. Oops, I got confused about your chart. Maybe you've only lost 25 pounds? Honestly, I'm not even sure I could easily see my own first 25-pound loss. Just keep on truckin' and you'll get there.

  6. I want to just give you a hug. I am so sorry your family trip has left you feeling so down.

    When it comes to doing something like loosing weight, I think it needs to be for you, no one else! It is a hard journey so the motivation needs to come from your heart, you wanting to loose it for your health, your self-confidence and for your own personal reasons or goals.

    Family can be the biggest drain on self-confedence and motivation or the biggest support.
    You are in my prayers!

  7. Hi Jodie,

    Sorry for being out of pocket for awhile here - the knee, my dying friend, Christmas, all my kids' imminent return to a house that isn't ready for them (not that they care) - but I really resonate with this post. And I did mean "pithy" in the sense that your posts are full of meaning, and at times grit. Real stuff, not fluff. I appreciate that.

    I identify with your upbringing leading you to seek affirmation from others - me too. I have a few years on you (er, decades?!) in which to have worked on some of the other-directed stuff of looking outside myself for validation and worth. I've gotten better, but it's still there and will likely always be to some extent. When I'm feeling vulnerable, or emotionally less safe than usual (like your trip to New England), my need for that outside defining and validating of myself increases.

    I've come to the place where when I find myself in those acute episodes of needing acknowledgment from others, I try to really feel it and associate it with how wounded and hurt I was when I was younger. How tender and sensitive it made me. Sometimes in a painful way, but often in a good way. Makes me more aware of others' potential old wounds. I sense this in you somehow. Your smile - your kindness, you choice of words.

    Wow, I really went on and on, didn't I? I love your blog and your posts and miss you when you're not around.