Thank you Leslie for a new vocabulary word! I really had to look it up because when I read about you wanting more of my "pithy" posts, I was insulted thinking it meant meaningless when in fact in means the opposite! It's a word like precocious. It sounds terrible, but really means a good thing!
I have nothing positive to report. I will not go into the gluttony that the last few weeks have been. A while back I talked about there being an on/off switch in my brain regarding healthy eating. And it's definitely been in the OFF position now. I've been processing a lot in my head about this problem and I think I might have an idea of one thing that might be causing it. Bear with me:
When you grow up without a mother and a father who doesn't really spend that much time or attention on you, not giving praise OR condemnation you seek out affirmation. I do. I want people to approve of me, like me, and god forbid, LOVE me. I just want to feel like I matter on this earth, that I've contributed something that people will always hold fond memories of me. So when I went back to New England for Thanksgiving and only one person (and a person I generally can NOT stand ) noticed my weight loss efforts it really depressed me. A "What's the point" type of depression. (and adding this on to the other depression I was experiencing from family stuff just made it bad). I guess what it comes down to is I have a lot of reasons to lose weight but most of them are about other people - for my husband, for my kids, so people will give me more respect, think I'm attractive, etc. and when those other people don't notice, it is hard on my psyche. Again today my husband reminded me that I have him and our girls and that should be enough for me. He's very right, but I don't know how to change my mindset.
So that's where I am. There's always hope...I always have it, sometimes it just takes a lot to get through to it!
First Week Weigh In
3 days ago