Rigidity

Definition:

Rigidity (psychology), an obstacle to problem solving which arises from over-dependence on prior experiences

This is what I'm working on in life and through therapy. Recognizing when other people are too rigid and recognizing when I, myself, am too rigid and how to deal with it in a way that doesn't make me depressed.

Recognizing it in others is a good thing because I've always been the type of person that would question my own opinions based on someone else's regardless of whether they were too rigid or not. I've had to learn to relax a bit. Sometimes it is simple things like forcing a kid to eat food they hate. Someone who was watching my kids once made my daughter sit at the dinner table because she wouldn't swallow the food she was given. She wouldn't offer an alternative and she wouldn't let her spit it out. Eventually she gagged and then was allowed to spit it out, but wasn't given another choice. (This person has rarely watched my kids since and when she did I brought the kids food already made). At first I questioned my parenting...I don't do that? Should I do that? Am I a terrible mother for NOT making my children swallow things they don't like? Other people's rigidity can make me crazy doubt myself. I'm starting to be able to say. "That's great if it works for you, but that's not the way I do it, and that's okay!" It's a work in process.

I'm often too rigid with my self and weight loss efforts. It's the thought of being all in or not at all. That's too rigid. It sets me up for failure or to think I am a failure when I don't succeed.

More later on this..